Retirement News



 
Zona had a few fun jokes to lighten the holiday season.

TEACHER: Why are you late?
  WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
  TEACHER: What sign?
  WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
   _____________

  TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication
  On the floor?
  CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
  _____________

  TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?"
  JOHN: K?R?O?K?O?D?A?I?L"
  TEACHER: No, that's wrong
  JOHN: Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
  _____________

  TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
  SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!
  TEACHER: What are you talking about?
  SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
  ______________

  TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
  GEORGE: Here it is!
  TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
  CLASS: George!
  ______________

  TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have
  today that we didn't have ten years ago.
  WILLIE: Me!
  ______________

  TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
  TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
  ______________

  TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."
  ELLEN: I is...
  TEACHER: No, Ellen..... Always say, "I am."
  ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
  _____________

  TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
  JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the
  same day, same time."
  _____________

  TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
  JOHNNY: "Because George still had the ax in his hand."
  ______________

  TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
  SAM: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
  _______________

  TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is
  exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
  DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
  ______________

  TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on
  talking when people are no longer interested?
  PUPIL: A teacher.
  ______________

  SYLVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
  FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
  SYLVIA: Your name on this report card. 

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    "You never replace
a great scholar who 
retires.  If you try to 
do that, you end up
with burnt-out volcanoes."
         Guido Calabresi